5 Ways To Keep A Man’s Attention
How To Keep Your Man Around For Good
some of us are great at the chase, but not so good at the kill. In other words, we know how to get the guy, but when it comes to keeping him, it’s a different story. Once you’ve impressed your guy and wooed him, and you both finally come down from cloud nine, what’s next? How do you keep a man interested and show him that you’re worth keeping around, especially once he realizes that you’re not perfect like he thought (none of us are)? Being yourself is always a good place to start, but there are other things that you can do to keep a man by your side, help him to really appreciate you, and take that step to commit. Here are five ways to get on your guy’s good side.
1. Learn to speak his love language.
First and foremost, find out what his love language is. You can make him dinner every night, but if his love language is “words of affirmation,” you’ll be spinning your wheels. Once you’ve determined his love language, you can tailor your affections to his needs, and you’ll even reap the benefits. When your man feels loved, he’ll be more likely to shower you with the affection you deserve.
Words of Affirmation - If this is your guy’s love language, he craves verbal affection and praise. He needs to feel that you value him and the things he does, however insignificant they may seem. Make a point of saying “thank you” and, at least once a day, tell him that you appreciate him. It’s important to follow your words with actions, but just a few simple words will make his day!
Quality Time - If quality time is most important to your man, he will feel loved when you spend time together that is free of distractions. For instance, depending on th
e person, watching television together may not constitute quality time. Instead, choose an activity that will allow you to focus your attention on him. Try to make a point of having dinner together alone at least a few times a week, and take advantage of your extra time on the weekends to plan something fun that requires interaction. You’ll be amazed at the difference a few hours can make in helping to keep a man happy!
Receiving Gifts - While this love language may sound expensive, it doesn’t have to be. Som
e people simply need love to be expressed in visible and tangible ways. Pay attention to the little things that make him feel loved. Put a note in his work bag with a Hershey’s kiss, or buy him a book that you think he would enjoy. Surprise him at work with lunch or a cup of his favorite coffee. Little things like this will go a long way toward making him feel special and fulfilled in your relationship.
Acts of Service - Acts of service include making your guy dinner, doing his laundry, picking up his dry cleaning, getting his car washed, and any other chore that can make his life simpler and less stressful. Pick two things to do for him each week, in addition to what you would normally do, and your man will feel loved!
Physical Touch - Physical touch should be one of the easiest love languages to work with, as a simple hug or kiss is all that it may take for him to feel secure and loved. If showing affection is not easy for you, try to step out of your comfort zone and show him you really care.
To find out more about your guy’s love language (and yours), visit Dr. Chapman’s fivelovelanguages.com, and take the 30-second quiz!
2. Give him space.
You can help to keep a man interested by simply giving him space. He needs alone time, or at least time to pursue hobbies and interests that you might not share. Pick a time each week when you each do something on your own or with your friends. It’s always important to maintain your own friendships even when you’re in a relationship. In the novelty of a new relationship, many people are tempted to spend all of their time with their new date, while letting other relationships slip. Remember, there may come a day when you need the support of your friends, so make sure you stay in their good graces! The next time he tells you he mad
e plans with his friends, smile and tell him to have fun. Then, schedule a date at the spa with a few of your friends.3. Don’t be his mother (but get along with her).
The last thing your guy needs is a second mother.
Now, we all know that the men in our life need some help and guidance at times (okay, all of the time), but there are w
ays to do this without taking him back to his high school days when his mom constantly nagged him. Try asking him to do something just once, and if that doesn’t work, ask him gently a second time, but give him the benefit of the doubt. Don’t show him that you are bothered, or he’ll resent being asked to do it. He’ll be much more likely to accommodate you if you stay positive and make him feel like he wants to do it to help you.
4. Learn to like (or at least tolerate) the things he likes.
People are different, and that’s what makes us so unique. It’s also what enables us to have meaningful and special relationships with others. It’s important to realize from the onset that your guy won’t be exactly like you, and believe me you wouldn’t want that! Can you imagine if he went to get a pedicure every two weeks or spent an hour styling his hair every morning? That being said, we’d all love it if they would just let us be when we do take longer to get ready or when we spend money to keep ourselves looking good for them. Just the same, we should be willing to let them watch football and baseball, or even spend the weekend hunting with family or friends. With time, you might even start to enjoy watching football!
Bottom line: if you want him to h
umor you when you go shopping or sun yourself by th
e pool, you need to be willing to spend a few hours doing what he loves to do. All good relationships involve give-and-take, so try giving more, and then you won’t feel bad taking a little, too!5. Don’t push the “M” word.
We all know that the “M” word is enough to scare any guy away, especially if he’s not ready for it. If you’ve been dating for two years and the subject has never come up, then you might want to gently broach the subject. On the other hand, if you’ve only been dating for six months, you may need to be mor
e patient. Forcing a serious isConcentrate on making him happy and he’ll eventually come around. And if you do finally venture into the dark waters, b
e prepared to gen
tly back out if you sense he feels overwhelmed. Give your relationship a chance to run its course naturally. At the same time, don’t keep a man around longer than you should. If you give him adequate time to commit and he still doesn’t seem interested, it may be time to give him the boot.
The most important thing to remember in a relationship is that your work doesn’t stop once he’s yours. In fact, even the best marriages are based on hard work, and if you want to keep a man, there’s no better time to start than now. Put these fiv
e principles into practice and he’ll be yours for good!
sue like marriage may do more harm than good.
9 Steps To Writing The Perfect Love Letter
Expressing Love With Written Words
A romantic love letter is a treasure to be cherished forever. Love letters are written for many reasons; to express love for the first time in a new relationship, as a way to show enduring love in an existing relationship, and sometimes at the end of a relationship. Even couples who have been married a long time enjoy receiving love letters that reaffirm their love for one another. Regardless of the reason, the written expression of love is an especially romantic gesture.
Writing the perfect romantic love letter requires preparation. Begin by making a list of all the things you love about your partner.
1. Make a List
Make a list of all the things you love about your partner. Include your hopes and dreams for a future with him or her. Write about your deepest feelings for your beloved and don’t worry about grammar and punctuation at this point. You will have an opportunity to perfect the letter later. This step simply allows you to get all of your thoughts and feelings on paper.
Now you can begin to organize your thoughts. Using scratch paper, begin putting your love letter into a neat and orderly fashion. A messy love letter is not romantic.
2. Start with a Salutation
Choose a salutation that is personal. For instance, “My Dearest Julie” or “My Darling Rick.” The salutation sets the tone of the love letter.
3. Write the Introduction of Your Love Letter
Express the feelings that prompted you to write a love letter. Write as if you are speaking to your beloved. Avoid being too formal when writing your love letter; just be yourself. Try to write the letter as if you were expressing these feelings directly to your beloved.
Express what you love and enjoy most about your beloved. Add details that are special to both of you. Avoid statements such as “you probably do not feel this way” as these type of statements diminish the feelings you are trying to express. Allow yourself to share your feelings openly with the confidence that they will be well-received.
4. Write the Body of Your Love Letter
Share the most significant moments that you have experienced with your beloved. Write about when you first laid eyes on him or her, your first date, and the moment you realized you were in love. Describe what was special about each of these events. Share the things you have in common and how your relationship has added meaning to your life. Be expressive and use details that tell your beloved what makes him or her so special.
Explain to your beloved how you cannot live without him or her and how much you miss him or her when the two of you are apart.
You can also take this opportunity to mention some of the things you and your lover have in common and explain how you are meant for each other.
Consider writing your beloved a poem. Including a poem written by you may seem like a daunting task, but if you have a mind to add a sprinkle of passion, go ahead and try it. Begin by reading your favorite poems with an analytical mind. Notice the cadence or rhythm of the words. Rhyming poetry should be just as meaningful, but finding just the right words that rhyme and develop a mood may prove difficult. Create imagery by imagining shared special occasions. Think about where you met. What did you see? Were there significant fragrances in the air? How did you feel? Jot down descriptive words that remind you of the experience.
For example, instead of “We met at a Starbucks” try “You stood in the doorway where the aroma of fresh roasted coffee beans could not compete with the steel blue of your eyes.” An image in the mind’s eye is created. Search for just the right words to describe the experience.
Writing a poem may not be something you want to do yourself, but if including a poem appeals to you, try a different angle. Take a look at love poetry written by others. Can you change words here and there to make it more personal?
If all else fails, use one of your favorite poems or one of his and always give credit where credit is due.
Expressions of love, passion, and adoration abound. Using a quote by a famous person or someone not so familiar may help you segue from one thought to another. Check out books at libraries and book stores that hold the sentiments of others. A line from a poem by one of the romantics or a quote from an anonymous source may add just the right touch of romance. The key is to keep in the scope of the tone of your love letter.
Be sincere and respectful. Keep humor to a minimum, as well as any erotic expressions. This is not about sex; it is about expressing your deepest, heart-felt emotions.
5. End with a Valediction
Ending your letter with “Love, Maria” falls short of the perfect romantic love letter. You have spent quite a bit of time creating the perfect romantic love letter, now is the time to select the perfect closing. “With All My Love” or “Love Always and Forever” are some examples of an appropriate valediction for a romantic love letter.
6. Select the Perfect Stationary and Pen
The perfect romantic love letter does not arrive via email nor is it typed on a computer. This is the time for a good old-fashioned, hand-penned letter.
Take the time to select the perfect paper. Nothing lined or ordinary will do. Choose an elegant linen paper. Scrapbook stores often carry a beautiful line of papers that can be purchased by the piece. Consider the color, texture, feel, and look of the paper you select. It should have the feel of elegance and poetry to it.
Select a pen that expresses both your feelings and personality. Men would feel most comfortable with black or brown ink. Women might choose the same or they might choose a favorite color that is more expressive of their personality such as pink or purple. Avoid blue ink, as it is too ordinary or red or green ink as it is too shocking in tone and color. These last ink colors do not set the right tone for a romantic love letter.
7. Transfer Your Love Letter to the Selected Stationary
Now is the time to transfer your love letter to the selected stationary. Take your time and write your letter neatly and carefully. Be sure to purchase extra pieces of stationary, in case you make a mistake. Your letter must look beautiful and worthy of the feelings you have expressed for this special person.
8. Include a Token of Your Love
Find a token of love to add to your love letter. Some examples include rose petals, or the petals of a daisy.
A few pieces of fine chocolate to accompany the letter add a special touch. A little glitter, or a sprinkling of foil hearts also add to the feeling and romance of the letter. What you add with the letter will depend on whether you are going to mail it or deliver it to a special place for this person to find.
Consider adding a touch of your favorite scent to the paper. The perfume or cologne you usually wear is best, as it will help your beloved feel your presence. Use a very light touch when adding fragrance to the paper. He or she should not have to read the letter at arms length or gasp for air between sentences. Add the scent to the paper first, before you write the letter and allow the paper to dry. This way, if you put on too much, you can start over without having to write the letter all over again.
Add anything that speaks of love or is part of your history and is appropriate to the romantic mood.
9. Deliver Your Love Letter
Fold the letter neatly and put it in a matching envelope, seal the envelope and add a few XX’s and OO’s on the point of the flap. You could mail the letter, but it is much more personal if you can deliver it to your special person in a way that he or she can find it unexpectedly.
Perhaps you can place the letter in his or her car along with a rose, or place the letter somewhere in his or her home when you are visiting.
You could leave a heart shaped balloon trail in their yard starting at the door and ending with the letter and a to
ken, then ring the doorbell and disappear for your loved one to search the trail. Although anyone will welcome a love letter, even in the mail, the extra effort will add a special touch and treasured memory.
Romantic gestures add depth and commitment to a relationship. By expressing the way you feel in a romantic love letter, you are willing to risk yourself to express your feelings of love. Enjoy creating your romantic love letter and delivering it to your special person. It will be a special moment for both of you.